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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Mother Encourages Andy Dalton To Keep Career Options Open

CINCINNATI—Stressing that the 26-year-old still has “plenty of time to figure everything out,” Tina Dalton, mother of Bengals starting quarterback Andy Dalton, reportedly encouraged her son Monday to keep his career options open for the next few years. “At your age, it’s important to just keep trying new things to see what you like and don’t like,” Dalton told her son, adding that while it’s “really great” that he enjoys his current job, the third-year quarterback should avoid becoming stuck in a career that ultimately may not be the right fit for him. “You’re only in your mid-20s, so just keep an open mind toward any opportunities that might come along, especially ones that actually offer a long-term future. Remember that your cousin Ethan worked in business for five years before going to law school, and now he couldn’t be happier.” Sources also confirmed that Dalton advised her son not to become too attached to Cincinnati, saying that no one would ever want to settle down and live there for more than a few years.

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