Motorcyclists Riding 2-Wide In Lane Right Next To You Probably Know What They’re Doing

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Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
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Motorcyclists Riding 2-Wide In Lane Right Next To You Probably Know What They’re Doing

TIFTON, GA—Traveling lightly with little to no body protection and occasionally swerving inward to chat, the two motorcyclists riding side by side in the traffic lane right next to you on Interstate 75 probably know what they’re doing, highway sources reported. “They’re riding at incredibly high speeds within feet of each other and dozens of other multi-ton vehicles, so of course they know how to travel safely without endangering the lives of everyone around them,” car passenger Jane Kurutz confirmed as the two men suddenly nodded to each other, cut across two lanes of traffic, and resumed traveling in a two-wide formation. “Oh, look, now they’re being joined by four other motorcyclists who are also riding side by side. Yep, there’s six of them. Probably all highly trained professionals with years of experience operating motorcycles in potentially lethal situations. Pretty neat.” At press time, sources reported that traffic had slowed down and the no doubt supremely careful motorcyclists were expertly passing cars by squeezing between them in a single-file line.

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