ARIES: You’ll wake up in strangers’ beds five times this week, which should be all the proof you need that you should meet more people.
LOS ANGELESMötley Crüe accomplished a music-industry first Tuesday, when band members signed an iron-clad sexual-harassment guarantee for their 2005 "Red, White, And Crüe" tour. "What a fucking awesome crowning achievement for these veteran rockers," manager Allen Kovac said. "Mötley Crüe is now contractually obligated to fondle, pinch, and comment lewdly on everyone they encounter during their six-month, 12-nation gig. Even at their height, KISS's managers could only get the band to sign a guarantee extending to female groupies." The agreement stipulates that opportunities for damage to property shall not be reasonably withheld.