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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Mötley Crüe Signs Sexual-Harassment Guarantee

LOS ANGELES—Mötley Crüe accomplished a music-industry first Tuesday, when band members signed an iron-clad sexual-harassment guarantee for their 2005 "Red, White, And Crüe" tour. "What a fucking awesome crowning achievement for these veteran rockers," manager Allen Kovac said. "Mötley Crüe is now contractually obligated to fondle, pinch, and comment lewdly on everyone they encounter during their six-month, 12-nation gig. Even at their height, KISS's managers could only get the band to sign a guarantee extending to female groupies." The agreement stipulates that opportunities for damage to property shall not be reasonably withheld.

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