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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Mountaintop Retreat With Maharishi Leaves Greenspan Obsessed With Rupee

WASHINGTON, DC–Returning from a two-week retreat at the top of Nanda Devi in the Indian state of Himachal Pradesh with mentor Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Fed Chair Alan Greenspan announced Monday that all currency flows organically from India's rupee. "Just as water, which ordinarily flows downhill, will leap up to cover a rock, so do the currencies of the seven major industrialized nations adapt their direction and flow to the rupee, the one constant in an ever-changing economy," said Greenspan, clad in a traditional Indian sherwani and sandals. "The metafiscal ramifications are simultaneously overwhelming and calming."

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