adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mourners Unable To Comprehend Last 20 Minutes Of Kubrick's Life

CHILDWICK GREEN, ENGLAND—Mourners at Stanley Kubrick's funeral expressed confusion Friday over the baffling, non-narrative final minutes of the director's life. "I really didn't get it," attendee Ron Blum said of Kubrick's climactic death scene. "I understood the convulsions and heavy sweats, but the whole swirling-colored-lights part of the 'beyond infinity' sequence? It just didn't make sense." Fellow mourner Steven Spielberg said he thought the disorienting editing of the deathbed sequence was meant to represent the chaos inherent in nature, but admitted that he "wasn't positive."

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close