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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Movie Characters Happen To Pass Through Pamplona On The One Week Bulls Run

PAMPLONA, SPAIN—In a dangerous and completely coincidental confluence of events, three vacationing American movie characters were reportedly almost trampled to death when they just happened to pass through the center of Pamplona, Spain during the one week the running of the bulls takes place. “Say, where is everybody?” the film’s protagonist Paul Wallace said to his traveling companions as they stood alone in an empty and eerily quiet plaza, unaware that it happened to be the week of July 6, when the city celebrates its annual festival of San Fermín. “And why is the ground trembling? Maybe it’s an earthquake or—oh my God! Run for it, guys!” At press time, sources confirmed the three travelers had narrowly escaped the bulls, but only after running past the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Big Ben, and a group of lederhosen-clad Germans who were for some reason celebrating Oktoberfest.

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