Movie Not Nearly As Awful As Hoped

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Vol 45 Issue 28

Mississippi The Fattest State

An annual survey found that, for the fifth consecutive year, Mississippi was the American state with the highest rate of adult obesity. What do...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Movie Not Nearly As Awful As Hoped

LOS ANGELES—Saying it was a waste of $11, Los Angeles resident Dan Bevver expressed disappointment Sunday that The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 was not nearly as bad as he had been anticipating. After going in with expectations of hammy acting and clichéd dialogue, Bevver was irritated to find an adequate retelling of the 1974 film, with performances that ranged from acceptable to decent. "I really thought this was going to be Battlefield Earth bad," Bevver said. "It had all the makings of a total shit-show: an unnecessarily reworked script, lots of explosions, Travolta with a mustache. But it was kind of watchable. What a shame." In order to salvage his night, Bevver went home and fell asleep midway through Leonard Part 6.

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