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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Movie Studio Blows Whole Budget On Big-Name Gaffer

BURBANK, CA—Insisting that such a film must not go under-gaffed, producers of the Warner Bros. comedy-horror film Blood Brothers reportedly coaxed Brett Atkins, the film industry’s most legendary gaffer, out of retirement this week at a cost rumored to be in the $50 million range. “Yes, roughly 90 percent of the film’s budget will go to gaffing, but Brett brings a level of lighting expertise and cable-laying innovation that is simply indispensable,” said executive producer Todd Wainwright, extolling Atkins’ “revolutionary” electrical work on 1994’s Clear And Present Danger. “We certainly don’t want another Green Lantern fiasco—$200 million of top-notch action spectacle, but Christ in heaven, the gaffing!” Offsetting the substantial expense, noted Wainwright, is the fact that this genre of film essentially key-grips itself.

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