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Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Movie Theater Employee Hurt By Customer's Comments About High Price Of Popcorn

PORTLAND, OR—Regal Lloyd Center 10 Cinema employee Justine Terrin told reporters Friday that a customer had deeply hurt her feelings by complaining aloud about the price of popcorn. "I was absolutely shattered—what on earth would make a person say something like that?" said Terrin, recounting how the customer turned to his friend and said $5 for a small bag of popcorn was "a little ridiculous." "The most devastating part was that he obviously knew I could hear what he was saying, and he didn't even care. It shook me to my core." Explaining that she was so distraught she had to take the rest of her shift off, Terrin told reporters she was considering working in another field such as telemarketing.

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