According to sources at the Boston Sports Club on Newbury Street, a personal trainer at the exercise facility is currently forcing a local man to put on an embarrassing acrobatic spectacle for the entire gym.
LOS ANGELESWorking with evangelical Christian organizations such as Focus on the Family, the Motion Picture Association of America has developed a movie-rating system based on the laws of the Old Testament. "There was some concern that our existing system was neither strict nor specific enough," MPAA President Dan Glickman said. "Hence, such improved ratings as B-M21 [Blasphemy Only To Be Viewed By Males Over 21] for Finding Nemo, as it was only given to Adam to name the animals." The new ratings system will be instituted around Easter, at which time all producers of movies formerly rated NC-17 will be burned at the stake, their fields sown with salt, and their names cursed unto the ninth generation.