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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
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Mrs. Butterworth's Bottle Central To Terrifying LSD Experience

ATHENS, GA—An anthropomorphic container of Mrs. Butterworth's-brand maple syrup took on nightmarish qualities for University of Georgia sophomore Kevin Duffy, 20, Tuesday during a harrowing, LSD-induced hallucination. "She was talkin' to me, man," the visibly shaken Duffy said following the four-hour experience. "I was zoning out on the linoleum patterns in the kitchenette when I heard this soothing, matronly voice. Then I saw her, gently gliding across the countertop and gesturing eerily with her tiny, translucent arms." Duffy's terror, he said, reached a fever pitch at approximately 4 a.m., when the parameters of four-dimensional space-time began closing in around him "like a waffle iron." "She took off the top of her head, man," Duffy said, "and there was this amorphous, semitransparent mass inside, sticking to me no matter how hard I tried to escape."

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Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

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