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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Mumford And Sons Take Home Coveted 'Vest Of The Year' Grammy

LOS ANGELES—After weeks of speculation within the music industry, English folk-rock group Mumford and Sons took home the big prize at Sunday’s 55th Annual Grammy Awards by winning the highly coveted Vest of the Year trophy. “Wow, I don’t even know where to begin,” said lead singer Marcus Mumford, after his slim-cut russet waistcoat secured the band its third win on a night in which the quartet also collected statuettes for Watch Chain of the Year and Best New Straw Hat. “We never could have imagined it. I mean, just to have our vest nominated alongside all these other amazing vests—it’s really a dream come true.” Following Mumford and Sons’ victory in the vest category, the band narrowly missed sweeping the Grammys’ four major apparel awards after losing out to indie pop trio fun. for its upbeat, critically acclaimed suspenders.

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