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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Munchstrosity Created In Frito-Layboratory

TRANSFATSYLVANIA—Conducting an immoral and reprehensible snacksperiment, Doritologists working in the Frito-Layboratory reportedly unleashed an evil of cheddarclysmic proportions Monday when they brought an appalling munchstrosity to life. “What have we wrought?” said Dr. Hans Wolfram, one of the world’s top cheesearchers and supervisor of the chipnetic engineers who created the grotesque 8-foot-tall gut-bombination from puffs, curls, Ruffles, pretzels, and doodles. “This salty, crispy freak of unnatural flavor must be destroyed before a crunchtastrophe occurs.” At press time, panicked Frito-Layboratory snacksistants were attempting to chain the horrendous munchstrosity to the walls of the Funyungeon.

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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