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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Museum Of Television And Radio Acquires Rare 'Caroline In The City' Episode

NEW YORK— The Museum of Television and Radio added a significant piece to its Precious Gems collection Tuesday upon acquiring a prized Caroline In The City episode dating back as early as 1995. "This masterpiece, once thought to be lost to the ages, is one of the most highly sought after in the series and is truly emblematic of the Must-See TV movement," museum curator Gerald Sampson said of the rare 20th-century episode entitled "Caroline Can't Think," which runs 22 minutes. "This is the first work to integrate the elements of Caroline's writing block, her friends' efforts to cheer her up, and her constant need to find a husband." The VHS copy, which has not been restored and still contains its original commercial breaks, was purchased from 43-year-old Ohio resident Doris Reynolds for $20 million.

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