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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:
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‘My Work Here Is Done,’ Smiles Contented Bannon Before Bursting Into Millions Of Spores

WASHINGTON—His skin already starting to bubble, newly dismissed White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon reportedly smiled and said “My work here is done” on Friday before bursting into millions of spores. “Now that I’ve accomplished everything I set out to do, it’s time for me to go,” said a contented Bannon moments before exploding into a cloud of millions of tiny black particles that swirled out the Oval Office window. “Just know that, if ever you need me, call my name into the wind and I will appear. Goodbye, my friends! Goodbye!” At press time, any White House staffers that had inhaled the Bannon spores were dying in agony as the spores began sprouting in their brains.

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