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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Name Of Gay Bar Should Have Been Clearer

CHICAGO—After accidentally walking into a gay bar Monday, Jeff Pierce, 23, said the name of the establishment failed to clearly telegraph its orientation. "I can see how Rods sounds gay," Pierce said, "but it's just not as crystal-clear as it could be." Pierce urged the bar's owner to consider changing the name, suggesting The Manhole or Big Throbbing Homo Cocks.

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