Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Nancy Pelosi Rushes Into Living Room To Hear Grandson’s First Talking Point

SAN FRANCISCO—Setting down her newspaper at the sound of the young child’s voice, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi reportedly rushed into her living room Thursday to hear her grandson say his first talking point. “Paul, get in here, I think he’s doing it,” said Pelosi, who reportedly could barely contain her excitement as the toddler proceeded to sputter through a line about reinvigorating the middle class by opposing tax cuts for Big Oil and corporations that ship jobs overseas. “Would you listen to that? He even pronounced ‘special interests’ correctly. Quick, somebody get the camcorder; I want to be able to save this forever.” As of press time, Pelosi was carefully helping her grandson walk back previous comments on Benghazi.

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