PALO ALTO, CA—Asserting that the utmost precaution was being taken to safeguard the future of humanity, leading scientists and engineers said Tuesday that they were confident in their ability to program artificially intelligent machines to be lenient slave masters.
PASADENA, CANASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory was thrown into chaos Monday after an Australian radar-tracking station notified JPL staff that Stardust II, an unmanned cometary probe, was scheduled to re-enter Earth's orbit in fewer than eight hours. "Holy crap, we completely forgot," said Dave Browning. "I have so much to doset up a schedule, clean up the clean room. Oh, Christthe recovery partywhere the hell are they?" After the probe landed early Tuesday morning, relieved JPL personnel pronounced the mission a success and asked the news media to call them on June 22, the day before Acheron VII is scheduled to return.