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NASA: Voyager-1 Has Officially Carried Remains Of Joan Crawford Outside Solar System

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Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.
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NASA: Voyager-1 Has Officially Carried Remains Of Joan Crawford Outside Solar System

WASHINGTON—Hailing the achievement as a monumental one for both the space program and humanity as a whole, NASA officials announced Friday that the Voyager 1 probe, first launched in 1977, has entered interstellar space with the remains of late actress Joan Crawford. “The Voyager 1’s plasma-wave antennas recently picked up two significant electron oscillations, leading us to the thrilling discovery that Joan Crawford’s body had crossed the threshold into the interstellar medium sometime around August 25, 2012,” said Voyager project scientist and plasma physicist Don Gurnett, adding that upon completing its primary mission to take the late star of Mildred Pierce as far as Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune in 1989, the spacecraft then continued flying toward the edge of the heliosphere. “When Ms. Crawford was first placed inside the Voyager 1 hatch and launched into space 36 years ago, this was just a far-off dream. To see it become scientific reality is truly overwhelming.” NASA confirmed that scientists have also maintained contact with the Voyager 1’s sister craft, the Voyager 2, which is expected to reach the Kuiper Belt and then jettison the body of singer Bing Crosby within the next several years.

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