NASCAR Champ Trades In Points For Fun Prizes

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Vol 42 Issue 02

Bowl Week Highlights

The 2005-2006 NCAA football season culminated with a week of unusually memorable college bowl games. What are the most notable moments?

New York Jets Finish Season

RUTHERFORD, NJ—Despite the doubts of many football fans, media figures, and people within the Jets organization itself, the New York Jets have indeed finished their entire 2005-2006 season.

Pete Rose Caught Trying To Get Inducted Into Hall Of Fame Under Assumed Name

COOPERSTOWN, NY—The Baseball Writers Association of America announced that the "former Cincinnati Reds superstar" and "quiet, unassuming model citizen" by the name of "Pat Rosenburg," whose career statistics merited Hall of Fame consideration, was revealed by investigators to be a desperate, mustachioed, glasses-wearing Pete Rose.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

NASCAR Champ Trades In Points For Fun Prizes

HOMESTEAD, FL—Moments after the Nextel Cup Series came to an end following the Ford 400 Sunday, NASCAR drivers eagerly redeemed the points they amassed over the course of the season for an exciting selection of prizes, games, and candy. "I knew that every lap was bringing me closer to that awesome BMX bike," said series champion Tony Stewart, who used the remainder of his 6,533 points to get a shower radio, a wall watch, and a mini tape recorder. "I could have gotten the inflatable electric raft if only I got to 7,000 points, or pooled my total with another racer like how Jimmie [Johnson] and Mark [Martin] did, but I'm pretty happy with the prizes I earned." Wayne Anderson, who was forced to pick his prize last after finishing with just 34 points, was only able to afford 15 Airheads and four wax mustaches.
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