MANSFIELD, OH—Frantically shifting his gaze between the field and play clock as the seconds wound down, local 34-year-old football fan Isaac Collins announced Sunday that the quarterback better hurry the hell up and snap the ball.
DAYTONA BEACH, FLIn a reaction to what many close to NASCAR see as an "insufficiently cornpone" and "only mildly folksy" corporate culture, drivers are discussing a possible strike during the 2006 Nextel Cup series. "What we got developing here is shifting a little too close to an actual stuck-up city-folk racing series, with major sponsors from above the [Mason-Dixon] Line and rich team owners who made their money somewheres [sic] else than headache powders or oil treatments," said Herschel "Huckleberry" Rosenberg, a lawyer representing drivers' interests. "What we have is pretty good for now, but sometimes ‘good' just isn't good-ol'-boy enough." Other driver grievances, which insiders say may stall the start of the season, include NASCAR's recent emphasis on safety and crash prevention, and a "dangerous" level of acknowledgment of the lack of minority involvement in the sport.