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NASCAR: Why Is It Not Done On Thousands Of Bicycles?

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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NASCAR: Why Is It Not Done On Thousands Of Bicycles?

DAYTONA BEACH, FL—Top stock-car racing officials have yet to respond to repeated passionate public demands that their series evolve to reflect the will of the people and the natural order of things, and be contended by riders on thousands of bicycles. "NASCAR is supposedly a sport reflecting the simple desires of the working people, who travel to their work upon bicycles, yet the greedy and aspirational NASCAR chairmen willfully ignore this fact," said one American factory manager whose own single-speed Shen Shye commuting bicycle is a proud symbol of his humble and earnest servitude. "Only when racers pedal shoulder-to-shoulder along crowded city streets to their shifts at tin-smelting plants will NASCAR truly capture the spirit of the laboring classes." NASCAR currently employs large, unwieldy racing automobiles of crude design and garish demeanor, built either by unlettered barbarians or the collaborating Japanese.鱼

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