adBlockCheck

Recent News

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nation Admits It Always A Little Bored By Whole Jimmy Hoffa Thing

‘Why Is This Fascinating Again?’ Populace Asks

DETROIT—Following reports today that a new tip has prompted a renewed FBI search for the body of Jimmy Hoffa, the U.S. populace admitted they are, and have pretty much always been, a little bored whenever the whole thing with the former Teamsters president comes up. “I’m sorry, why are we supposed to care about this, again?” asked St. Paul, MN resident Richard Lott, 36, echoing the thoughts of millions of Americans who say they have “no discernible interest” in the nearly 40-year-old case of the missing labor union leader and assume anyone who did have any interest in the subject “died a long time ago.” “Every couple of years they’re checking out a different parking lot for this guy’s body—I don’t get it. It doesn’t seem like a big, fascinating mystery to me. So someone did a great job hiding a body. Good for them.” The U.S. populace admitted it was still more than willing to hear any news whatsoever about the Zodiac Killer.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close