adBlockCheck

Nation Already Sick Of Baseball

Top Headlines

Sports

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Nation Already Sick Of Baseball

WASHINGTON—With the MLB season still less than a week old, millions of weary Americans across the country confirmed Wednesday that they were already sick of baseball. “Three innings into opening day and I was completely bored to death,” said 36-year-old Michael Simpkins, echoing the sentiment of the entire U.S. populace while expressing that he could not wait for the tedious MLB season to finally end. “I was sort of excited before the game, but once they started playing I immediately realized that I couldn’t take one more second of this unwatchable shit.” At press time, the nation was reportedly reading articles on the NFL Draft and asked reporters to let them know who won the World Series.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close