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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

The Pros And Cons Of Affirmative Action

Since the 1960s, Americans have regularly debated the merits of policies favoring members of groups frequently targeted by discrimination. Here are the pros and cons of affirmative action.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.
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Nation Begs Disaffected Youth Gravitating Toward Neo-Nazism To Get High And Play Xbox Instead

WASHINGTON—Beseeching them to pursue a less destructive path with their lives, the nation begged disaffected youth gravitating towards neo-Nazism to get high and play Xbox instead, sources reported Friday. “We don’t really care if you get blazed and play video games, sit home and jerk off, or shoplift a bunch of shit at a convenience store as long as you don’t march down the street waving swastikas,” said Holyoke, CO, resident Gregory Stamp, echoing the sentiments of the entire American populace in urging restless and angry young people who find themselves tempted by fascist ideology to try stuffing their faces with as many Cheetos as they want or playing the drums as hard as they can at literally any hour of the day. “Go ahead and sleep until four in the afternoon, then do whippets until you pass out. You want beer and cigarettes? We’re buying. Please just stay away from the white supremacy shit and definitely do not shoot anybody.” At press time, the nation was reminding sullen adolescents who were starting to read about white genocide on neo-Nazi websites that they could just as easily use that time to view disturbing hardcore pornography.

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