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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Nation Confident Team USA Can Participate In World Cup

WASHINGTON—Insisting that with a roster of this caliber, it was “basically in the bag,” the entire nation expressed their confidence Tuesday that the U.S. men’s national soccer team could very well participate in the 2014 FIFA World Cup. “I know it's still early, but I’m not afraid to call it right now and say that the United States will attend the tournament,” Tempe, AZ resident Dan Freher told reporters from his seat at a Buffalo Wild Wings, echoing the sentiments of millions of soccer fans across America, all of whom were excitedly anticipating a resounding U.S. appearance at the international level. “With [Jurgen] Klinsmann as coach and with seasoned players like Tim Howard and Clint Dempsey leading the way, the U.S. could easily go all the way to the group stage. I know it’s crazy to get my hopes up like this, but I just have this gut feeling that they have a shot at playing in this whole thing.” Freher added that even if the team choked this year, American soccer fans would always have their memories of the 1994 World Cup, when the U.S. handily hosted the entire tournament.

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