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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria

WASHINGTON—According to a national poll conducted by the Pew Research Center Monday, the vast majority of Americans are currently more concerned about the demise of Planet Krypton, the native world of the comic book character Superman recently depicted in the film Man Of Steel, than the devastation currently taking place in the Middle Eastern nation of Syria. “What happened to that place, the tragic loss of life, the horrific images we’ve seen—it’s simply too sad to even think about,” respondent Kathy Ames said in reference to the fictional extraterrestrial world. “To think that entire families were just wiped out in an instant because of a nuclear chain reaction caused by the planet’s unstable core. I just really feel for the people of Krypton.” When asked how she feels about Syria, Ames, along with numerous Americans polled, said, “I don’t know, bad, I guess?”

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