Nation Feels Fucking Awful For Woman Who Sits Between Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith

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Vol 49 Issue 35

Tough Season - Preview

Tough Season returns with a gritty, hard-hitting look inside the fantasy football locker room of Brad’s Awesome Team.

The Case For And Against Intervening In Syria

While the Obama administration has been considering an armed intervention in Syria following the gassing deaths of hundreds of Syrian civilians, a vocal movement in Congress and among the general public has emerged in opposition of any U.S.

Courtroom Artist Clearly Infatuated With Bailiff

The Syria conflict intensifies as bears enter the war, a report shows that millions of courageous Americans are overcoming the media pressure to be thin, and the nation’s single men announce a plan to change their bedsheets by 2019.

50% Of Americans Oppose Intervention In Syria

According to an NBC poll, 50 percent of Americans oppose the use of military force against Syria in the wake of a purported chemical weapons attack by the government of Bashar al-Assad, compared to 42 percent who support military action.
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Nation Feels Fucking Awful For Woman Who Sits Between Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith

BRISTOL, CT—Expressing their deepest most heartfelt sympathy, the American public announced Thursday that they feel really fucking terrible for the poor woman who sits between Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith on the ESPN program First Take. “What could she have possibly done to deserve something so fucking horrible?” said despondent ESPN viewer Mark Humphrey, adding that enduring the arguments of Bayless and Smith was nothing short of cruel and inhumane punishment. “That poor, poor woman. Why are they making her do this? I can’t imagine being in that appalling position. Those two are just repulsive monsters.” At press time, Bayless and Smith were screaming about whether Tim Tebow would fit into the Patriots offense along with Tom Brady while the woman was silently cutting herself.

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