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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Nation Fondly Recalls When Just Regulating Video Games Seemed Like Solution To Gun Violence

WASHINGTON—Faced with seemingly ceaseless debates over how to curb the rampant number of shootings occurring across the country, millions of Americans took a brief moment Thursday to fondly look back at a time when simply regulating video games seemed like the best solution to gun violence. “You know, there was a brief period when slapping a ‘Mature’ sticker on the cover of a violent video game was the single, clear-cut way to end all gun-related deaths in America,” said Annalise Wexler of Los Altos, CA, who went on to nostalgically reminisce about the then-widely held belief that prohibiting the sale of first-person shooter games to children without parental permission appeared to be a totally concrete and comprehensive preventative measure against mass shootings. “Forget trying to figure out how to expand access to mental health services, enforce more stringent background checks in all 50 states, or restrict the sale of military-grade assault weapons and bulk ammunition—back then we figured we could just ban death metal music and call it a day. Man, those were good times.” Many Americans also admitted to reporters that they desperately miss the bygone era when they could blame anyone but themselves for perpetuating gun violence by electing officials who refuse to pass stricter gun control laws.

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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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