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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Nation Growing Increasingly Distrustful Of NFL Experts

NEW YORK—Football viewers across the nation announced Tuesday that a lackluster performance, inaccurate predictions, and a failure to acknowledge shortcomings have led to an increased distrust in so-called NFL experts. "First they had Green Bay over Arizona, then Dallas over Minnesota, and of course they just couldn't see the Jets winning," said 46-year-old New Jersey resident Tom Nicholson, who called on authorities to investigate how long NFL experts have been misleading the American public. "I don't know who to believe. The more I think about it, the more I realize that these self-appointed 'experts' are wrong a staggering percentage of the time. Why, I ask you, does all that pregame analysis become inconsequential once the game actually begins?" A majority of Americans also noted that in instances where analysts are correct, as is often the case with Cris Collinsworth and Merril Hoge, the commentators are so insufferably smug that it makes them unwatchable.

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