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Nation Just Finding Out That Flyers Came Back From 3-0 Deficit By Reading This Right Now

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Nation Just Finding Out That Flyers Came Back From 3-0 Deficit By Reading This Right Now

BOSTON—The Philadelphia Flyers came back from three games down to defeat the Boston Bruins in their best-of-seven playoff series last week, a historic feat neither you nor the rest of the country knew about until reading this. "It feels amazing," Flyers goalie Michael Leighton said after his team, on the road for Game 7 and down by three goals, fought back to win, causing millions to drop their jaws, primarily because it was a stunning achievement, but also because they could not believe that this very moment is the first time they've heard anything about it. "The most recent team I can remember that did something this special was the 2004 Red Sox and [everyone and their mother knows about that, but don't forget, the Red Sox blew out the Yankees in Game 7 of the ALCS, and therefore this is actually more impressive]." When asked to respond to its newfound hockey knowledge, the nation seemed impressed, although it somehow felt it was not nearly as impressed as it should be.

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