Nation Savoring Every Moment Of Glorious Late-February, Early-March Days

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Vol 47 Issue 10

How To Become An Internet Music Sensation

More and more, bands are recording, releasing, and promoting their music at home using their own computers. Here are some ways a burgeoning musician can make a splash on the Internet.

NHL Ref Likes It When He Gets To Jump Over Puck

CHICAGO—Fifteen-year veteran NHL official Michael Lussenhop confirmed in an interview Sunday that the most satisfying part of his job is when he's backed into a corner and has to grab the boards to leap over the puck to keep from interfering with th...

What Do U-Say About Mike Brant?

Messages of support for GOP candidate Mike Brant have been flooding our inbox. Here's a small sampling: "We don't need leaders who went to good schools or have experience in government or can name their own state's capitol. We need leaders like Mik...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Nation Savoring Every Moment Of Glorious Late-February, Early-March Days

WASHINGTON—Saying there are only a few days left to relish the steel-gray skies, dirt-caked melting snow, and still-freezing temperatures, citizens across the country are reportedly taking the time to savor every last moment of 2011's late-February, early-March days. "It's my favorite time of year," said 42-year-old Cleveland resident Meredith Polonsky, adding that she loves stepping outside and smelling the thawing dog shit nobody bothered to pick up during the winter, as well as going to the park, avoiding all the places where the ground is too wet, and going home early because the high winds make her eyes hurt. "Also, I love that the days are getting longer, but still aren't long enough to actually do anything. It's really magical." According to a CNN/New York Times†poll, a majority of Americans are hoping for just one more night where a slushy, rain-snow mix forces them to stay inside and watch another Milwaukee Bucks–Indiana Pacers regular season basketball game.

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