adBlockCheck

Nation Still Reeling From Mega-Success Of 'Mr. Popper's Penguins'

Top Headlines

Entertainment

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Nation Still Reeling From Mega-Success Of 'Mr. Popper's Penguins'

WASHINGTON—The nation's 300 million citizens announced Saturday that they are still walking around in a collective awe-inspired daze from the phenomenal blockbuster movie Mr. Popper's Penguins, which in its 13-month run has grossed $312 billion, made Carla Gugino Hollywood's top-paid actress, spawned a No. 1–rated spin-off series on the CW, and inspired 200 million downloads of the "Where's It Poppin?" smartphone app, which directs users to the closest screening of the movie. "Not a day goes by at work without hearing [Mr.] Popper['s Penguins] quoted at least five times," said self-described "Pop nut" Cassie O'Hara, 32, proudly displaying the tattoo on her hip of the film's affectionate penguin Lovey. "It's such a vital cultural touchstone. Years from now, historians will describe the world as pre-Popper or post-Popper. I've seen it once a week for the past year, and I'm just now finally getting a little bit tired of it." Indeed, concerned that the film's popularity has finally peaked, animal shelters across America are preparing for a sudden influx of penguins bought as pets and now expected to be abandoned on the street.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close