Nation Thankful That Shellie Dean Zimmerman Was Charged With Perjury At Least

Top Headlines

George Zimmerman

George Zimmerman Wins Florida State Lottery

SANFORD, FL—Just days after being fully acquitted for his role in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman reportedly won the $37 million Florida Lottery jackpot last night.

The Case For And Against George Zimmerman

FOR Typed, signed letter from Martin confirming he attacked Zimmerman Americans have soft spot for nation’s rugged, rawly sexual neighborhood watch volunteers Actions fall within the letter of Florida’s “Get Out Of Your Car, Trac...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Good Times

Nation Thankful That Shellie Dean Zimmerman Was Charged With Perjury At Least

WASHINGTON—Saying that, hey, it beats nothing, Americans across the nation expressed gratitude today that Shellie Dean Zimmerman, the Florida woman accused of lying to police about husband George Zimmerman’s finances while he was imprisoned this year for the death of teenager Trayvon Martin, has been officially charged with perjury under state law. “Look, no matter how anything else turned out, Shellie Dean Zimmerman has still been charged with the offense of lying to authorities, so, justice served, right?” Maryland resident Abby Liptak told reporters on Monday, noting that while it’s unfortunate George Zimmerman was found innocent over the weekend of murdering an unarmed black teenager, she’s at least glad his wife will be tried for a third-degree felony. “So you thought you could get away with perjury, did you, Mrs. Zimmerman? Well, not so fast, Shellie—not so fast!” Liptak additionally told reporters that if Shellie Zimmerman is convicted on charges and gets even 12 or 13 months of probation, she’ll consider the Trayvon Martin case closed.

Next Story