Nation To Be Sterilized From 1 P.M. To 4 P.M. This Friday

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Vol 45 Issue 48

Drug Found To Boost Female Libido

Flibanserin, a drug developed unsuccessfully as a treatment for depression, was shown to increase and enhance sex drive in women. What do you...

Gunman Thought Coworkers Would Be Back From Lunch By Now

NEW YORK—"Huh, I wonder where everyone is," said the emotionally disturbed publishing professional, bringing the high-powered assault weapon down from eye-level and slowly snapping the safety back on. "Definitely thought they'd be back from that sandwich place by now."
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Nation To Be Sterilized From 1 P.M. To 4 P.M. This Friday

NEW YORK—The mandatory sterilization of all sexually mature U.S. citizens is set to take place this Friday from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m Eastern Standard Time. Everyone is reminded to have their genitals clean-shaven before reporting to local Defertilization Centers at the time indicated on the information cards mailed out last month.

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