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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Nation Wrestling With Notion Of Mark Cuban Winning NBA Title

DALLAS—Within hours of the Mavericks sweeping the Lakers Sunday to advance to the NBA Western Conference Finals, basketball fans across the United States began preparing themselves for the very real possibility of outspoken libertarian and tech billionaire Mark Cuban winning an NBA championship. “Yeah, I know, first thought that occurred to me was ‘Oh, man, that would be terrible,’” said Eugene, OR water-treatment plant worker Tracy Williams, adding that his jaw clenched uncomfortably at the idea of Cuban kissing the championship trophy with his “big, loud, stupid mouth.” "But then I thought, you know what? The guy clearly loves his team. He treats his players great. Maybe he does deserve an NBA title. Then I got pissed off at myself for thinking that.” At press time, reporters are currently weighing the pros and cons of asking Mark Cuban to comment.

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