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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Nation Wrestling With Notion Of Mark Cuban Winning NBA Title

DALLAS—Within hours of the Mavericks sweeping the Lakers Sunday to advance to the NBA Western Conference Finals, basketball fans across the United States began preparing themselves for the very real possibility of outspoken libertarian and tech billionaire Mark Cuban winning an NBA championship. “Yeah, I know, first thought that occurred to me was ‘Oh, man, that would be terrible,’” said Eugene, OR water-treatment plant worker Tracy Williams, adding that his jaw clenched uncomfortably at the idea of Cuban kissing the championship trophy with his “big, loud, stupid mouth.” "But then I thought, you know what? The guy clearly loves his team. He treats his players great. Maybe he does deserve an NBA title. Then I got pissed off at myself for thinking that.” At press time, reporters are currently weighing the pros and cons of asking Mark Cuban to comment.

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