National Advertising Board Launches 'Advertising: Get The Message!' Campaign

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Vol 41 Issue 21

Former Addict Celebrates 10th Year Of Mind-Numbing Boredom

PHOENIX—Tom Stubbens, 44, a former heroin abuser, attended a party in his honor to celebrate a full decade of clean, sober, and dismally tedious living Tuesday. "The crazy gang of partiers I used to have so much fun with in the '90s wouldn't even recognize the clean and respectable person standing before you today," said Stubbens, raising an iced tea to friends at his regular evening haunt, the 36th Avenue Denny's. "Yup, but here I am... that person." Stubbens then retired to his apartment, where he watered his plants, organized his sock drawer, and fell asleep on the couch.

Cocky Attempt To Operate ATM In Spanish Backfires

SAFFORD, AZ—During a Monday night stop at an automated-teller machine, an overconfident Scott Tifton failed to withdraw cash using the machine's Spanish instructions. "My girlfriend Lisa was with me at the ATM, so I pressed Spanish as a joke," Tifton said. "I figured I could rely on my high-school Spanish, but instead of giving me $100, the deposit slot lit up. Then I hit what I thought meant 'cancel' a couple times, and it ate my card. We were going out to dinner for our two-year anniversary, and Lisa had to pay." Tifton said he probably could have figured out the instructions if he had been at his normal branch.

Alternative Training School For Dogs De-Emphasizes Obedience

MONTEREY, CA—Dogs who attend the Kylee Alternative Training Institute are exposed to a "creative canine learning environment where less emphasis is placed on obedience," director Morgan Kylee said Monday. "We believe in helping our students to discover their own potential, rather than forcing them to conform to the traditional idea of what a dog should be," Kylee said. "Dogs that mess on the carpet or bark incessantly are not scolded, but praised for finding their own parameters. Our motto is 'If it feels good, chew it.'" Classes at the school include Holistic Heeling, Elective Fetching, and Removing The Leg-Humping Stigma.

Thousands Dead In Wake Of Low-Carbon Diet

FORT WALTON BEACH, FL—Doctors are linking nearly 9,000 deaths nationwide to the popular low-carbon diet outlined in the bestselling book, Dr. Wesley's Elemental Dieting. "Dr. Ryan Wesley's book tells dieters to avoid consuming carbon, an element that occurs in all organic life, animal and vegetable," said Dr. Peter Castle, a nutritionist at Johns Hopkins University. "Although Wesley dieters can ingest limitless hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen, deriving nutrients only from gases is not viable in the long term." The low-carbon diet first came to prominence in February 2004 when Wesley appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show weighing an astonishing 76 pounds.

Palmolive Attacks Dawn For Coddling Grease

NEW YORK—Representatives for Palmolive dish detergent issued a challenge to the makers of Dawn Monday, charging that the blue dishwashing soap "coddles grease." "Palmolive lives up to its vow to be 'tough on grease,' but Dawn merely 'takes grease out of your way,'" Colgate-Palmolive CEO Reuben Mark said. "Out of sight, out of mind, eh Dawn? Palmolive believes in eradicating the grease problem, not simply pushing it to the far reaches of the sink." Mark added that, as unrelenting as Palmolive is on grease, it continues to be soft on hands.

This Milk Is Expired When I Say It Is

Hey, you haven't even touched your milk. What's the matter? Milk is an important part of a balanced diet, good for strong bones, healthy teeth, and—what do you mean "spoiled"? Gimme that. Spoiled? This milk smells as fresh as the day I bought it. What? Listen to me, missy—this milk is expired when I say it is.
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National Advertising Board Launches 'Advertising: Get The Message!' Campaign

NEW YORK—In an effort to raise the individual American's awareness of and interest in advertising, the National Advertising Board launched a $32-million "Advertising: Get The Message!" campaign in major markets across the country Monday.

"From lifesaving drugs to new diet beverages, advertising keeps you informed about the products and services you want to buy," a spokeswoman said in a 30-second spot titled "Keep An Eye Out For Ads." "But advertising can't work for you if you don't pay attention!"

The commercials, in heavy rotation on network and cable television, end with a helpful tip for viewers: "To get messages from advertisers in your area, open up your local newspaper, turn on your radio, or continue to watch this channel."

The NAB campaign includes print, radio, television, and billboard ads.

A print ad appearing in 15 leading women's magazines this month reads, "Whether you need a new, improved detergent with stain-dissolving power or a low-interest equity loan for making home improvements, advertising can help. Why not look at some advertising today?"

The new campaign targeted American males, as well.

"You're a man," an advertisement in Men's Health read. "Take your life into your own hands—with advertising. If you're looking for sporting goods, hair products, or pornography, ads will bring you closer to your goal. Advertising—get the message!"

According to NAB spokeswoman Alaina Gray, the goal of the print advertisements is twofold.

"Primarily, we want to raise awareness of our new 'Get The Message' slogan," Gray said. "But we also hope that, by drawing attention to our ads, we'll attract more interest to all ads. That's why many of our print ads urge consumers to look to the right and left of our advertisement for other advertisements."

Many consumers have taken the NAB's new message to heart.

An NAB billboard in Raleigh, NC.

"Just the other day, I was wondering what video game I would buy next," said Omaha, NE resident John Cruise, who saw an NAB commercial in the current issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly. "I looked at a few of the other full-page color advertisements in the magazine I was holding, and sure enough, the ads made me want a whole bunch of games."

Christina Williamson, former vice president of Chiat/Day and current NAB director, said the organization labored for six months to create their "Get The Message!" message.

"As you can imagine, we focus-grouped this campaign extensively, and we saw some really positive results," Williamson said. "These days, people are looking for messages, so the word 'message' in our 'Get The Message' slogan really resonated with our target demographic—consumers of goods and services. We expect the new campaign to be even more successful than our 2004 campaign, 'Advertising: Look At It.'"

In a full-page "Open Letter To American Consumers" in Sunday's New York Times, Williamson wrote that "despite the massive efforts of advertising agencies to analyze and exploit human psychology, advertising is more art than science."

"Advertising livens up television programs and brightens magazines, neither of which would exist without advertising," Williamson wrote. "Innovative advertising forms like the magalogue, the infomercial, and advertainment are breathing new life into the industry. If you're hungry for information or looking for a quick laugh, look no further than advertising."

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