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National Filmstrip Board Calls For Quiet

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Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

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MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

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National Filmstrip Board Calls For Quiet

WASHINGTON, DC—Insisting that "this is important, people," the National Filmstrip Board called for quiet Monday, urging U.S. citizens to observe proper decorum and be respectful during the showing of its latest filmstrip, Nation Of Good Listeners. "Come on, come on, come on," National Filmstrip Board executive director Madeline Herricks said. "Clear your desks and let's get settled, Americans." Herricks added that if citizens fail to keep their lips zipped, she may be forced to turn off the filmstrip and order all Americans to put their heads down on their desks. "You know, we don't have to have a filmstrip at all," Herricks told the populace. "This is supposed to be a nice change of pace for you. We could just have another census if you'd prefer."

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