CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying it has already become a fixture in his daily routine, local 27-year-old Greg Weise installed a home pull-up bar to absentmindedly tap while passing through the hallway, sources confirmed Tuesday.
ST. PAUL, MNSpokespeople for the waterborne-luxury-adult-tourism organization American Sex-Boat Owners Group said Wednesday that unknown factors have caused a sudden and perhaps catastrophic decline in sex-boat business. "We're not sure exactly what happened, as the late summer and early fall are usually our top earning seasons, especially in cities such as Oakland, Minneapolis, Dallas, and Atlanta," said ASOG board president Candace Greiling, whose 80-foot sex-yacht, the S.S. Ronald Mexico, was put into off-season dry-dock after several regular customers canceled cruises with almost no warning. "Captains and cruise directors alike are wondering if they'll have gainful, sexual, nautical employment next summer." The ASOG did not give reasons for the falloff in business, but some speculate that a sudden inexplicable increase in moral behavior among young millionaires with ample free time may be to blame.