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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Nationals Not Sure How They Got Run

WASHINGTON—During a postgame press conference Saturday in which he registered disappointment at being shut out for the 22nd time this season, Nationals manager Manny Acta became visibly confused after being told by reporters that his team had actually scored a run during its 6-1 loss to the San Diego Padres. "If we scored like you say we did, there's no way we got it by hitting the baseball and advancing the runners, because I would have remembered something like that," a skeptical Acta said. "What I do recall is a lot of weak ground balls back to the pitcher, botched sacrifice bunts, and double plays to end innings. Maybe we walked or people got hit by pitches four consecutive times?" When informed that first baseman Aaron Boone hit a two-out RBI in the 8th inning to score Emilio Bonifacio, Acta responded, "Yeah, right."

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