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Nation's Brothers-In-Law Know Exactly What They Want For Christmas

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Nation's Brothers-In-Law Know Exactly What They Want For Christmas

EVERYWHERE—The country's brothers-in-law released a statement Tuesday announcing their unparalleled desire to receive an expertly written, tangible anthology of sports and sports-culture journalism for Christmas. "We want the best of both the writing and publishing worlds, priced within the affordable and certainly reasonable $21 to $23 range," read the statement, which added that paying the full, as-advertised price would serve as the best way to compensate the overwhelmingly deserving authors of such a publication. "This book would not only make us very happy on a momentous holiday, but would also add meaning to our otherwise insubstantial familial bond, which could then be reinforced further by presenting us with a second copy of the same book, just in case something were to happen to our all-important original copy." Thus far, the only product to meet the brothers-in-law's well-reasoned and plausible standards is the Onion Sports' new Ecstasy Of Defeat, now on sale for the full, as-advertised price of $21.99 wherever fine books are sold. 

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