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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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Nation’s Cable Companies Announce They’re Just Going To Take $100 From Everyone

NEW YORK—Offering no justification for the action aside from their own desire to do so, executives from the nation’s leading cable companies announced plans Wednesday to take $100 from every one of their subscribers. “At midnight EST tonight, we will deduct exactly $100 from each of our customers’ accounts and, frankly, there is nothing that anyone can do about it,” said Comcast President and CEO Brian L. Roberts in a morning press conference, flanked by like-minded executives from Time Warner, Dish Network, Cox, and numerous other cable companies, all of whom confirmed the non-refundable $100 charge would apply to all subscribers regardless of service package and would most certainly not be applied as credit toward future charges to the account. “The bottom line is we want $100 from you, so we’re just going to take it. As a cable subscriber, you really have no other option here. And we’ll probably do it again in a few weeks, too.” The cable company CEOs added that any subscriber who was dissatisfied with the plan was more than welcome to call their customer service lines.

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Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

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