adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nation's Dads Find That Frank Caliendo Guy Pretty Funny

SHELTON, CT—According to those sitting in the same room as their fathers during MLB postseason games on TBS, the nation's dads have been both impressed and amused by Frank TV promos in which comedian Frank Caliendo performs impersonations of politicians and celebrities. "Let me tell you, he's got George W. Bush down pretty good," said local dad Gerry DiCenzo, 54, who smiled throughout a 30-second spot in which Caliendo sang "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" as Bush, Robert DeNiro, Dr. Phil, and John Madden. DiCenzo emitted a contented chuckle upon the ad's conclusion. "I like it when he does Seinfeld, and then he walks onto the same screen and does George at the same time. It's pretty clever." Despite enjoying the commercials, the nation's dads said they have no plans to actually watch the full show once it begins airing on Oct. 21.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close