SALEM, OR—Saying their respective justifications were “good to go” whenever necessary, local couple Mark Wondrich, 25, and Cara Marshall, 27, reported Friday that they each have a comprehensive list of reasons why they should break up with the other on standby.
GAINESVILLE, FLCalling the trend "a black mark on academia," deans from more than 300 U.S. colleges converged on the University of Florida campus to address the growing problem of out-of-control, sexy sorority sweethearts baring it all for the cameras. "In recent years, a number of filmmakers have brought to light the shocking antics of hot young girls from the wildest party schools," said Tulane University dean of students Dr. Anderson Brand. "We must take appropriate action to address this wild, uncensored revelry." Brandishing one of the mail-order videotapes, University of Connecticut dean Charles Burton said, "I could not believe what happened when those crazy co-eds got back to their hotel rooms. Nor, I suspect, could anyone."