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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Nation's Debate Viewers Disgusted With Selves After Connecting With Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON—As they awoke this morning, millions of Americans reportedly let out a heavy groan of regret upon remembering they had made an emotional connection with Republican nominee Mitt Romney last night during his first debate with President Barack Obama. “Oh my god, I’m pretty sure I liked him. Like, on a personal level, I connected with Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney,” said Pennsylvania resident Tom Gorelick, 26, adding that he can barely look at himself in the mirror now that he’s seen Romney as an appealing, charismatic speaker who could in fact become President of the United States. “Am I somebody who is going to vote for Mitt Romney now? Did I just ask that question out loud? I feel gross.” At press time, Gorelick was taking a scalding hot shower and vigorously scrubbing his body with steel wool.

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