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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Nation’s Huggers Announce Plans For You To Get Over Here

WASHINGTON—Approaching slowly with their arms spread open wide, thousands of huggers across the country announced their intention for you to get on over here Wednesday. “C’mon, bring it in! Let’s do this,” the nation’s huggers said, adding that someone needed a hug and that person is you. “Get over here, you know what time it is.” At press time, the huggers were reportedly beckoning you to come closer, grinning ear to ear, and nodding their heads in the affirmative.

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