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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Nation’s Huggers Announce Plans For You To Get Over Here

WASHINGTON—Approaching slowly with their arms spread open wide, thousands of huggers across the country announced their intention for you to get on over here Wednesday. “C’mon, bring it in! Let’s do this,” the nation’s huggers said, adding that someone needed a hug and that person is you. “Get over here, you know what time it is.” At press time, the huggers were reportedly beckoning you to come closer, grinning ear to ear, and nodding their heads in the affirmative.

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