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Nation’s Least-Appealing Puppies To Face Off In Puppy Bowl

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Nation’s Least-Appealing Puppies To Face Off In Puppy Bowl

SILVER SPRING, MD—Calling the collection of puppies assembled for Puppy Bowl VIII a tired rehashing of the same old Jack Russells, pit mixes, collies, and labs, fans around the nations agreed this week that the 2012 contest would be one of the most boring ever. "It was a pretty exciting fall as far as cute little puppies go, but this is it?" said Sylvia Shawlbuck, a longtime fan of baby animals who has never missed a Puppy Bowl. "Abilene, the Australian shepherd mix who dawdled and misfired all season until she lucked out in the Puppy Playoffs? Joni, the rat terrier who plays in an awful puppy division where she's almost guaranteed a shot at the postseason? Boring." However, die-hard Puppy Bowl fans reacted positively to the news that the Kitty Halftime Show would be de-emphasized this year, saying they had always found the kitten performers to be "whorish and slutty."

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