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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Nation's Moms Demand Christmas List

ATLANTA—Saying the holidays are right around the corner and they want to make sure they get you something you'll really like this year, the nation's moms demanded a Christmas list Monday. "Five or so items would be more than enough, with at least one idea for a big present," said 53-year-old Maureen Marshall, one of several million mothers who explained they really don't want to get you something impersonal like a gift card. "Be sure to get it to us by Friday, because there are some big sales coming up and that's when we take your grandmother shopping. If we're not there to tell her what you want, who knows what you'll end up with?" The mothers went on to say that they themselves don't want anything special and that just getting to see you for the holidays is all the present they need.

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