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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Nation's Ninetysomethings Gear Up For Last Year Of Their Lives

BOCA RATON, FL—Excited ninetysomethings across the country announced Wednesday they were gearing up to take full advantage of what promises to be the final year of their lives. "I feel totally reinvigorated—this year I'm grabbing the bull by the horns and getting ready to die, first by canceling all my magazine subscriptions," said 92-year-old Hollis Ryzek, adding that his new carpe diem attitude stems from his desire to tell his grandchildren he loves them one final time. "I'm looking forward to planning my last words, getting my living will in order in case they have to pull the plug on me, and then it's off to sit alone in my room at the assisted living facility and think about how all my friends are dead. This is going to be the best last year ever!" Ryzek said he jumped feetfirst into his dynamic new routine, spending New Year's Day calling all his relatives to make sure they knew he wanted to be cremated.

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