adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nation’s Prospective College Applicants Go Straight To Princeton Review’s ‘Best College Radio Station’ Rankings

NATICK, MA—Saying that the ratings were influential in helping them make decisions about where to pursue higher education, prospective college applicants across the country reportedly rushed online this week to consult The Princeton Review’s 2015 “Best College Radio Station” rankings. “This list is a pretty big factor in determining where I want to go—there’s no way I’m sending an application to a school that isn’t in the top 10 campus stations,” said high school senior Kyle Hofstadter, adding that seeing St. Bonaventure University’s 88.3 “The Buzz” jump to number three this year had considerably influenced his decision to apply early. “I’m going to do some research on my own about things like how soon they let you become a DJ and what their indie-to-hip-hop ratio is like, just to make sure I’m not putting too much stock in the rankings. But after reading this, I’m pretty sure I know the schools that are right for me.” Many applicants added that they also intended to consider a safety school such as Denison University, whose 91.1 WDUB “The Doobie” was ranked an unimpressive 17th on the list.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close